By Kyle Boris
September is upon us which means our favorite television shows are returning, new ones are premiering, baseball is coming to a close, football is starting up and of course the Emmy’s are knocking on the door. With all that in mind, take a look as I count down the 10 most pressing and entertaining issues that have me interested as I question September 2016.
10.) Will Ryan Lochte make it past the first round on Dancing with the Stars?
Oh, Ryan, where did we go wrong? Oh, yeah, it was when you lied about your drunken night. We’ve all been there. But, what better way to get rid of some bad publicity than to go on Dancing with the Stars? Lochte will be a contestant on Season 23?! of the popular dancing competition joining the likes of reality television all-star Vanilla Ice and fellow olympian, Laurie Hernandez. I have to assume Lochte isn’t going to be a fan favorite even if he dances well. Could he end up spending less time on the dance floor than he did in Rio?
Kyle’s Answer: Lochte will make it past the first round…but not much further.
9.) Will Donald Glover find success in Atlanta?
Creator, co-writer, producer, star. Donald Glover does it all on his new comedy series, Atlanta, set to premiere September 6th on FX. The man who goes by Childish Gambino in the rap scene and went by Troy on Community, Glover dwells into his own creation this time around as he plays Earn Marks, a man with no job in a big city with bigger dreams. Early reviews are positive and it seems as if Glover has struck gold again.
Kyle’s Answer: Glover shines in HOTLANTA
8.) Will Storks have the same success as The Lego Movie?
After an eleven year layoff, Warner Animation Group(formally Warner Bros. Feature Animation) hit it big with one of the biggest animated films of 2014 with The Lego Movie. The film sits at a whopping 96% on Rotten Tomatoes and grossed over 469 million bucks. I feel sorry for the film that has to follow that up. That’s where Storks comes in; September 23 to be exact. This 3D animated film revolves around the idea that storks no longer deliver babies and instead deliver packages. All is well until Junior(Andy Samberg) gets into some hijinks and must deliver an actual baby. The idea is a fresh one and the trailers haven’t given much away, but we’ll have to see if Samberg can bring the same charm to Junior that Chris Pratt brought to Emmet in The Lego Movie.
Kyle’s Answer: Storks does well, but falls short in its opening weekend at the box office againts The Magnificent Seven(starring Chris Pratt).
7.) Will there be a tie for the second wild card spot heading into the final two days of the MLB regular season?
It’s only happened once since the new wild card rules were created in 2012, but this season has the chance to produce a 163rd game between two teams tied for the second wild card. Two teams are granted a wild card berth and play in one game to determine who moves on to the Division Round. But, with many teams fighting for positioning, there’s a chance a 163rd game might have to be played in case of a tie for the second wild card spot.
While the NL has a chance as the Mets, Pirates and Marlins are all within three games of the final wild card spot, the American League has a logjam of teams fighting for that final spot.
records via MLB.com
A whole bunch of scheduling conflicts could be in play if two or more teams finish with the same record. As of right now, the Orioles and Tigers would have to play a 163rd game to determine who gets the chance to play the Red Sox. However, the Astros, Yankees, Royals and even Mariners are within striking distance of making October very interesting.
Kyle’s Answer: The Red Sox and the Orioles hold off the competition heading into October
6.) Will Tim Tebow be signed to a Major League Baseball Contract?
Tebow 3:16. TebowMania. Tebow Time. It seems that the man can’t go a few months without his name being heard around the country. The former football star recently had a tryout in front of Major League Baseball scouts for over 25 teams. He showed off his speed for his size, a strong arm, and some decent power. But, what are the chances Tebow gets signed during the month of September? Tebow could do well in the minor leagues, perhaps, but I’m not so sure someone’s ready to give him the opportunity.
Kyle’s Answer: Tebow doesn’t get signed and is back as an analyst before month’s end.
5.) Will Marvel’s Luke Cage follow in the footsteps of Jessica Jones and Daredevil?
We’ll have to wait until the end of the month to know if Luke Cage will be a hit just like fellow superheroes Jessica Jones and Daredevil. Netflix hasn’t missed a beat recently with its comic book adaptations and there shouldn’t be any worry that this will change with Luke Cage. Cage was a towering force as Jones’s lover and partner on her Netflix series, so its exciting to see what he can do on his own.
Kyle’s Answer: I binge watch it in one night…and it delivers.
4.) Will South Park’s 20th season premiere crack two million viewers?
The boys of South Park have been crossing lines and dropping jaws for 19 strong seasons with number 20 on the way, September 14th. However, last season saw a drop in viewers as the premiere only brought in 1.76 million viewers. That was down from the 2.40 million for Season 18 and 2.89 for Season 17. Actually, the show didn’t crack 2 million U.S. viewers once in its 19th season. 20 seasons is a big deal and with plenty of Trump to go around, we can be sure the animated comedy has some material to work with.
Kyle’s Answer: South Park’s premiere does not mention Kyle’s mom, but reaches 2 million viewers.
3.) How will the Patriots do without Tom Brady?
If you weren’t aware. Tom Brady had some problems with his balls; more specifically the air quality in said balls. The man was on a mission to take down Roger Goodell and get his four-game suspension revoked for Deflate Gate, but ultimately Goodell won the battle and Brady will be forced to sit out his team’s first four games against the Dolphins and Texans at home and on the road against the Cardinals and Bills. Jimmy Garoppolo has zero career starts in the NFL and will be tasked with facing some tough defenses to open the season.
Kyle’s Answer: Patriots lose both road games and one at home to the Texans to fall to 1-3 before Brady comes back to save them and carry the team to the playoffs.
2.) Who says the most offensive joke at the Comedy Central Roast of Rob Lowe?
Every year Comedy Central hosts a roast where a bunch of comedians and celebrities get to tear each and pretty much anyone and anything going on in the world apart. Justin Bieber and James Franco have been previous roastees, but this year’s honor goes to Rob Lowe. Will Rob make the most offensive joke of the night? Probably not. That honor will have to come from one of his fellow roasters: Jimmy Carr, Ann Coulter, David Spade, Pete Davidson, Nikki Glaser, Jewel, Ralph Macchio, Peyton Manning, Rob Riggle and Jeff Ross.
Kyle’s Answer: The safe bet is to go with Jeff Ross who is never afraid to address touchy topics. However, I’m gonna go with Pete Davidson who will try to follow up some of his 9/11 references from last year.
1.) Will Game of Thrones sweep the Supporting Actor/Actress categories at the Emmy’s?
Game of Thrones had a huge sixth season. Deaths: CHECK. Battles: CHECK. More Deaths: CHECK. With all those deaths and battles came some great performances from the regular actors and actresses on the show. This was made clear when the Emmy nominees were announced and five GoT actors & actresses were nominated.
In the Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Drama Series category, Peter Dinklage(Tyrion) and Kit Harington(Jon Snow) will try to fend off Jonathan Banks(Better Caul Saul), Michael Kelly(House of Cards), Ben Mendelsohn(Bloodline) and Jon Voight(Ray Donovan). Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Drama Series finds three ladies of Game of Thrones as nominees. Emilia Clarke(Daenerys), Lena Headey(Cersei) and Maisie Williams(Arya) all will be vying for their first Emmy awards against Maggie Smith(Downton Abbey), Maura Tierney(The Affair) and Constance Zimmer(UnREAL).
Kyle’s Answer: The women have a better shot to come away with a victory and I believe Lena Headey powers through and notches the Emmy win for her role as Cersei. On the men’s side, Kit and Peter will have some competition particularly in the form of the great Jonathan Banks as Mike Ehrmantraut on Better Call Saul, but I think Kit Harrington as Jon Snow pulls out the victory for the Starks!
Kyle Boris is a contributing editor for YourSitch.com